What is the difference between accepting and valuing?

A friend shared with me that she felt accepted by her family, and valued by her besties, and that was something altogether different. I was so moved by this idea, I felt compelled to share this idea with you.

How do you view your family and friends, your nearest and dearest? How do you view your colleagues and clients? Do they feel accepted by you, or do they feel valued? And what’s the difference?

As human beings we want to belong, to fit in and be accepted. But is that enough? I don’t think it is.

Acceptance is the “action or process of being received as adequate or suitable”, or “receiving a favorable reception; approval; favor”. The act of accepting someone is dependent upon certain conditions. If you meet the guidelines, if you do the right things, if you act a certain way…. you are deemed accepted, or are acceptable. It’s an if, then… conditional situation, where you may or may not receive approval. Your acceptable is decided and agreed upon by others, it is a measure of your extrinsic worth, something that comes from outside of you, that you have to earn to belong.

Value, on the other hand, is being appreciated, held in high regard, loved, treasured and cherished. It is your innate worth as a human being without doing anything. It is your admirable qualities which are intrinsic in nature - your uniqueness, your coolness, your essence, your just being you. Valuable is who you are by those who see you. It is who you are in the eyes of your maker. Having value or being valuable is something you just are, without anyone deciding anything.

If you are fortunate enough to share your holidays with friends and family this holiday season, take a moment to think about those in your life you value, and take time to truly see them.

Thank you Bethany for inspiring me.